Coping with the Loss of Someone Young: Finding Light in the Darkness

Losing someone is always painful, but when it’s someone young—someone who had so much life left to live—the grief can feel unbearable. It’s unfair, it’s heartbreaking, and it can leave you feeling lost. While nothing can take away the pain entirely, there are ways to process grief, honor their memory, and find a path forward without feeling like you’re leaving them behind.

1. Allow Yourself to Feel Everything

Grief doesn’t follow a straight line. One moment you may feel numb, the next overwhelmed with sadness, anger, or even guilt. Every emotion is valid. There’s no ‘right’ way to grieve, so allow yourself to feel without judgment.

It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to feel lost.

Grief isn’t something to ‘fix’—it’s something to carry, process, and eventually find a way to live alongside.

2. Talk About Them

One of the hardest parts of loss is feeling like the world is moving on while you’re still frozen in grief. Keep their memory alive by talking about them. Share their stories, say their name, and don’t be afraid to reminisce.

If you feel like no one understands, reach out to someone who knew them or join a support group. There is so much healing in shared memories.

3. Find a Way to Honor Their Life

When someone is taken too soon, it can feel like their story was left unfinished. Finding a way to honour their life can help keep their spirit alive:

Light a candle on special days
Create a memory book with photos and letters
Donate to a cause they cared about
Plant a tree in their memory
Carry on something they loved, whether it’s a hobby, a song, or a tradition

4. Lean on Others

Grief can feel incredibly lonely, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to family, friends, or a therapist who can help you process your emotions. If talking is too hard, sometimes just sitting with someone who understands can be enough. If you do not have the funds to cover the cost of a therapist or another professional, The Copper Beech Trust can help you with this.

There is no shame in needing support. You are allowed to grieve, and you are allowed to seek comfort.

5. Be Kind to Yourself

Some days will feel unbearable. Others might have moments of laughter or peace, and you may feel guilty for feeling even a little ‘okay.’

You are allowed to have good days. Smiling doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten them. Moving forward doesn’t mean you don’t love them.

Grief isn’t about ‘getting over it’—it’s about learning to carry love and loss at the same time.

6. Find Small Moments of Comfort

While nothing will erase the pain, small acts of self-care can help you cope:

Go for a walk and feel the sun on your face
Write a letter to them, saying all the things you wish you could say
Listen to music that soothes you
Watch their favourite movie and remember the joy they brought
Simply take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s okay to grieve

7. Accept That Grief Has No Timeline

Some days will feel heavier than others, even years later. That’s okay. Grief doesn’t disappear—it changes. You won’t always feel this broken, but that doesn’t mean you’ll stop missing them.

With time, the sharp pain of loss softens into something gentler—a quiet love that stays with you always. They will always be a part of you.

8. Hold Onto Love, Not Just Loss

It’s easy to focus on the tragedy, but try to remember the love. They lived. They mattered. They made an impact. Let their story be more than how they left—let it be about how they lived, who they were, and the love they gave.

Final Thoughts

Losing someone young is devastating, and there’s no perfect way to grieve. But you are not alone. Take it one moment at a time. Let yourself feel. Honor their life. Find comfort where you can. And when you’re ready, know that love never truly leaves—it just takes a different form. They are still with you, always.

**PLEASE REMEMBER** The Copper Beech Trust is here to help you. If you are struggling in any way, shape or form, please email IN THE STRICTEST OF CONFIDENCE – confidential@copperbeech.ie